inching toward extinction.

Finals Week: A Still Life.

Sat, 18 May 2013 18:03:00 -0400

Finals Week: A Still Life.

Freelance Whales - Aeolus Keep me in your warm arms, my love,...

Sat, 18 May 2013 17:01:54 -0400

Freelance Whales - Aeolus

Keep me in your warm arms, my love, cradle me while I unhinge my neurons

Week 38

Sat, 18 May 2013 12:00:17 -0400

The drama continues.

There’s a big hot mess going on with the program. Long story short, we need to get our shit together. There is a looming threat of everyone 3rd year and under (that includes me, of course) dropping out or transferring.

I don’t want to transfer. I’d prefer to stay here. But I think if I had to….I would try for Drexel. They have a good forensic program.

I’ve been working pretty hard trying to finish all my finals. I still have three papers to turn in, two presentations, and an essay-based exam.

Back to it.

On Headaches and Bruxism.

Fri, 17 May 2013 16:12:32 -0400

The last week or so I have been living on a weird, awful rollercoaster where the dippy bits are pure exhaustion and the uppy bits are fiery agitation, and it feels like there’s not a lot of the flat boring bits where I feel like a human.

Yaayy?

Does anyone want to come do my laundry?

Wed, 15 May 2013 11:30:53 -0400

I’ve pre-sorted it into “on the floor” and “not on the floor”.

There’s always money in the banana stand. (at Columbus...

Tue, 14 May 2013 17:08:01 -0400

There’s always money in the banana stand. (at Columbus Circle)

On Having a Better Office

Sun, 12 May 2013 20:51:38 -0400

Him: You're going home already?
Me: Yeah, the sun is setting and it's crushing my soul.
Him: I guess that's one of the downsides of having windows in your office.

On Lab Friendships

Sun, 12 May 2013 19:26:03 -0400

Doctoral student: You threw me under the bus!
Undergrad: No, I gently placed you under the bus.

Daughter - Touch Love, hunt me down. I can’t stand to be...

Sat, 11 May 2013 23:46:27 -0400

Daughter - Touch

Love, hunt me down. I can’t stand to be so dead behind the eyes. And feed me, spark me up. A creature in my blood stream chews me up so I can feel something, so I can feel something. Give me touch, ‘cause I’ve been missing it. I’m dreaming of strangers kissing me in the night just so I….just so I can feel something, can feel something, can feel something, can feel something. You steal me away with your eyes and with your mouth, and just take me back to a room in your house and stare at me with the lights off to feel something…to feel something, to feel something, to feel something. In the night, in the night, in the night can we touch, in the night, ‘cause I’ve been missing it.

Week 37

Sat, 11 May 2013 10:48:41 -0400

There’s a lot of anger over here. And not just from me this time. The students are all very angry with a lot of things that are happening at school…decisions being made for us, accreditation problems that aren’t being brought to our attention, getting shut out of important meetings…it’s all very frustrating. I’m glad it’s not just me though. I thought I was crazy for a while there.

I am trying very hard not to be a bitch, but when my cognitive resources are low due to depression and finals, I think my bitchiness comes out full force.

I’ve been getting B’s in one of my classes and I’m 90% sure my professor has it out for me.

I gave a presentation on my grant proposal on Wednesday. This was for Professor Who Hates Me (different from the professor who clearly has it out for me). I thought me and PWHM were on good terms - she laughs at my stupid jokes in class and doesn’t roll her eyes so hard at me anymore. But she interrogated me after my presentation! My friend in the class said he timed and she was grilling me for 30 minutes. THIRTY MINUTES! I must’ve blacked out because I only remember about 10 of them. I think I handled her questions well, mostly because she was trying to poke holes where there were no holes to be poked. And surprisingly left the glaring errors untouched. We’ll see what kind of grade I get for that.

Unrelated to school, this week marked my first scary subway experience in my approximately 7 years here. Last night, I was standing around in the subway, then suddenly I just see people running. Sprinting out of the station. I panicked! I had no idea what was happening, but I started running too, because I was not about to be that asshole who is too cool and then ends up dead. It turns out it was just a little fire. But everything worked out because I had an excuse to get a drink with my lab friend while the lovely FDNY fixed everything.

I know, I know. Black lilies….how painfully obvious. But I...

Thu, 09 May 2013 21:00:12 -0400

I know, I know. Black lilies….how painfully obvious. But I couldn’t resist. (at Washington Heights)

Hyperbole and a Half is back with a hilarious and disturbingly...

Thu, 09 May 2013 20:07:32 -0400

Hyperbole and a Half is back with a hilarious and disturbingly accurate follow-up to her equally hilarious and disturbingly accurate original post about depression.

mathcat345: cunningcunt: aaamaaazooon: heinouskurloz: ocfos: ...

Thu, 09 May 2013 12:42:06 -0400

mathcat345:

cunningcunt:

aaamaaazooon:

heinouskurloz:

ocfos:

brokenpocketwatch:

asifhisheartwouldbreak:

violent-buddhist:

Scientists discover most relaxing tune ever

Sound therapists and Manchester band Marconi Union compiled the song. Scientists played it to 40 women and found it to be more effective at helping them relax than songs by Enya, Mozart and Coldplay.

Weightless works by using specific rhythms, tones, frequencies and intervals to relax the listener. A continuous rhythm of 60 BPM causes the brainwaves and heart rate to synchronise with the rhythm: a process known as ‘entrainment’. Low underlying bass tones relax the listener and a low whooshing sound with a trance-like quality takes the listener into an even deeper state of calm.

Dr David Lewis, one of the UK’s leading stress specialists said: “‘Weightless’ induced the greatest relaxation – higher than any of the other music tested. Brain imaging studies have shown that music works at a very deep level within the brain, stimulating not only those regions responsible for processing sound but also ones associated with emotions.”

The study - commissioned by bubble bath and shower gel firm Radox Spa - found the song was even more relaxing than a massage, walk or cup of tea. So relaxing is the tune, apparently, that people are being Rex advised against listening to it while driving.

The top 10 most relaxing tunes were: 1. Marconi Union - Weightless 2. Airstream - Electra 3. DJ Shah - Mellomaniac (Chill Out Mix) 4. Enya - Watermark 5. Coldplay - Strawberry Swing 6. Barcelona - Please Don’t Go 7. All Saints - Pure Shores 8. AdelevSomeone Like You 9. Mozart - Canzonetta Sull’aria 10. Cafe Del Mar - We Can Fly

This is so interesting.

Hold on.

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU COMBINED IT WITH RAINY MOOD?

I just combined it with Rainy Mood.

IT’S FUCKING AMAZING.

http://www.rainymood.com/

holy shit i fell asleep to this last night and had the greatest sleep ive had in fucking ages

I ACTUALLY DID FEEL MY HEARTBEAT MATCH THE BEAT OF THE TRACK AND IT FREAKED ME THE FUCK OUT

I always reblog this

This is actually more calming than I expected it to be. Hmmm…

birdonwing: masterofpowerslaves: rec0rrupted: My absolute...

Wed, 08 May 2013 16:24:13 -0400

birdonwing:

masterofpowerslaves:

rec0rrupted:

My absolute favourite cat ever. This is a manul, or pallas cat. Found in the Afghan mountains, they’re one of the oldest pure-blood cousins of our own goggies.

they look like fat balls of rage

Just gonna leave this here

I can’t even deal with how much this reminds me of my cat.

Arrested Development's Frozen Banana Stand Is Coming To NYC!

Wed, 08 May 2013 13:11:40 -0400

Arrested Development's Frozen Banana Stand Is Coming To NYC!:

The Bluth’s Original Frozen Banana Stand is coming to NYC this month! Will there be money in the banana stand?

There’s always money in the banana stand.

"Don’t get me wrong; I think gifted children need therapy too."

Tue, 07 May 2013 16:10:22 -0400

“Don’t get me wrong; I think gifted children need therapy too.”

- Classmate

It feels like someone has grasped a loose string from my brain and is slowly unraveling it like an...

Sun, 05 May 2013 11:40:35 -0400

It feels like someone has grasped a loose string from my brain and is slowly unraveling it like an old worn-out sweater.

The Antlers - No Widows If the wheels jump off the road,...

Sat, 04 May 2013 17:54:50 -0400

The Antlers - No Widows

If the wheels jump off the road, there’s no widows left to know, no perfect love above, no punishment below.

Week 36

Sat, 04 May 2013 12:00:00 -0400

In the last 9 months, there have been a handful of irrefutably terrible weeks. This was one of them.

On Death.

Thu, 02 May 2013 10:23:00 -0400

My first day on my own, I was with the girl who was bigger than me. I remember chasing her all over the courtyard as she got ready to throw an intense tantrum. I remember exactly what she wanted (television access, which we didn’t have because she had smashed all of our TVs). I remember desperately turning to the friendliest person I could find for help. Tony.

That night, he helped me take care of this kid who was trying to tackle me for what felt like hours, but probably rounded out to about 30 minutes. While she sat in the corner trying to calm herself down, Tony sat on a couch and talked with me. He was the first friend I made at that place.

We organized the happy hours (we always fought over who got credit for those), and on Saturdays sometimes he would take over the last couple hours of my shift so I could unwind with chores. We got sushi together on our days off and talked shit. He taught me so much of what I learned during my short tenure. He was an incredible friend.

He is part of my dysfunctional family of misfits, and nothing can change that.