Sara Bareilles - Let the Rain
And I always felt it before, that the world was filled with much more than the drowning soul I’ve learned to be, I just need the rain to remind me.
Spring break motherfuckers!
(Well technically it starts Monday, but it’s the weekend so I’m including today.)
I decided to apply to a week-long summer program at the behest of my adviser. At first I was nervous because it seemed like I might be over-extending myself this summer…I have 3 externships lined up, all with some amount of overlap, as well as the research project I’m working on, and prepping my own dissertation. A week-long program might not seem like much, but it would be an entire week in July where i can’t do any of those other things I’ve committed myself to. Anyway, my adviser talked me into it, and my supervisor at the hospital was also very adamant that it would be well worth the time. So hopefully I’ll get accepted!
I was at a conference in Boston for the early part of the week. I saw lots of interesting talks and posters. Went to a symposium on the neural basis of social connections, which was pretty fascinating stuff. Turns out that you can predict how popular someone is by the volume of a couple pretty specific brain areas. WHO KNEW?! The other really cool symposium was on alpha band oscillations, which is related to the research that I’m planning on doing for my dissertation, so that was really very useful.
I didn’t see much of Boston, but that’s okay. I was staying in a part of town I’d visited before, and the conference was more appealing to me than the nearby sights. I managed to go out and try some good food though!
Overall, the conference was a good experience. I went to the same conference last year, and so it was kind of a given that I’d spend some time thinking about how much has changed over the past year. It was nice, really. I think I’ve become much more me, if that makes any sense. I feel like myself. And that comes with it’s drawbacks, of course, but for the most part, I’m quite content with this version of me, especially as compared to the 1-year-ago me.
Common Core testing prepares our students for what they’ll face as adults: pointless stress and confusion.
I felt like a tornado this week. I had classes as usual, but I was also trying to get everything together for my poster presentation at a conference. I had the usual homework and report writing, nothing new there.
I had to go to a training for the research project I’ll be working on this summer. It was actually kind of fun, and really exciting. I love the research these women are doing and I’m so thrilled to be part of it. I know it sounds a little cheesy but it’s really nice to work on something that I’m interested in and passionate about.
Right now I’m on a bus pulling in to Boston, where I’ll be at a conference for a few days. I’m not nervous or excited…just kind of…blah. It’s fine. It’ll be fine. I’m just kind of…bored.
You know it’s been busy because I didn’t even have time to queue up some lazy reblogs.
I proctored another exam this past week. One kid was full-on passed out for like 20 minutes. A little napsky never hurt anyone’s grade…right?
I met with a woman who is applying for a faculty position in my program. She is doing really fascinating work in Australia…longitudinal work with teenagers and antisocial behaviors, and moderating factors that play into teen decision-making processes. Really really cool stuff, and even cooler that it’s longitudinal, and even coolest that she might come to my school (so I could work with her!)
I’ve been working my ass off at the hospital. I have 3 cases pending which makes me a little bonkers. I’m just being a perfectionist on the one case. I want it to be the most amazing report because it’s my only “adult” case (she’s 18).
I also learned more about the research I’ll be working on this summer. It’s really exciting stuff but it’s also being kept a little under wraps because it’s potentially groundbreaking stuff.
This morning, I handed in my thesis for approval to defend.
Stressful stressful week. I had to finish grading a stack of papers, most of which were poorly written. It’s frustrating to read those things. I had to create a little rule for myself - if I still can’t understand a sentence after reading it twice, I ignore it and treat it like it never existed. Otherwise, I’d be there for ages trying to make sense out of gibberish.
I also coded and interpreted a Rorschach with the help of my secondary supervisor. That was pretty exciting. He said I did a really good job for my first Rorschach! Kind of a nice feeling.
I had a little terror to deal with at the hospital this week. She totally drained me. I went home miserable. But I guess you can’t win ‘em all.
Last thing: I got accepted to work on a research project for the summer!
Can someone please fill me in on why “Must be in APA format” reads to undergrads as “Must be in any fucking format I feel like, so here’s a paper with size 36 Comic Sans title and also I decided to just type the title of my paper at the top of every page for no reason. Oh and my References page is just an arbitrary list of names.”
This week was generally very positive.
On Monday I got 2 separate offers for externship placements, both of which had many aspects that drew me to them. I discussed my options with pretty much anyone who would listen, but ultimately ended up picking another neuropsychology placement. I’m excited about it. It will be with adults for the most part, but I’ll still get to see kiddos every now and then. The referral questions will be different…it’s a comprehensive epilepsy clinic, so the symptoms are all neurologically-based (versus the cases I’ve been seeing this year, which are primarily developmental in nature).
I had a really really interesting case at the hospital. Same kiddo as last week, back for a second visit. I got to give the Rorschach for the first time, which was super cool. It was nice to be able to go home after work and sit down and do research on a case. I’m solving little mysteries every week.
In class on Wednesday, I felt like I made some really good contributions to the discussion, and I felt like my professor gained some new respect for me. It’s incredible to think about how different I am now versus just a year ago. I sat in that same classroom, in front of an equally intimidating and brilliant professor, and had anxiety attacks at the thought of raising my hand and reading a definition out of my notes. Now, I don’t even bother to raise my hand. I just throw stuff out there, and I give my opinion, and I can talk about articles I’ve read in a evaluative way rather than just the facts. I feel like a real human, which sounds kind of silly, but that’s the only way I know how to put it. I just feel like myself, finally.